I am a mother and I am a Coach. In my daily practice I feel, that there seems to be one point in a women's life that is often isolating and lacking support. The transition to mother and then to working mother is a significant shift in a woman's life. We are surrounded by thousand communities offer women the opportunity to connect, network, and discuss.
Yet, the inner chaos and the anxiety of new mothers in these transitions with millions of questions and the feeling of insecurity is often lacking attention.
You are in transition and that can feel very lonely. You don’t feel enough and that upsets you.
It is important to know that you are NOT alone in this constant battle or this quest for anxiety relief! I experienced a few things to be helpful in this situation:
1) Write down
Clarity on your anxiety and your struggles can help, to decrease the overwhelm in motherly transitions.
Labelling negative feelings and writing them down can already take some burden away. And: pausing a moment to do so helps already to shift to a more peaceful state of mind.
Talk About your anxiety to relieve it. If you can, speak to your spouse, a trusted friend or a Coach if you need support outside your bubble. They can help you work through those negative thoughts and shed light on the positive.
3) Practice resilience
Another way of dealing with motherly anxiety can be building up and strengthening your resilience. It helps to put the focus on the here and now with e.g. Mental Fitness Training, Mindfulnesstraining or Meditation.
When have you had the last coffee date with yourself? Practice self care regularly. It’s about factoring in the time to do things that fill you up. It might not come naturally to you to put yourself first. If you’re a mom who has a hard time taking time for yourself, you’re not alone. There’s a common expression, “mom guilt.” But: taking small breaks will not impact your children in a negative way. In fact, it will improve your parenting because you’ll come back to being a mother feeling refreshed.
5) 1-3 Ratio in positive thoughts
Train yourself, that on each negative thought you aim to put three positive thoughts. The change in mindset is your way out of constant worries. By thinking positive thoughts, you strengthen your mental muscles for your future reaction to any situation.
All this puts the focus on the here and now. Staying present decreases the overwhelm and reduces upcoming feelings of stress.